Iran, Israel Sign Peace Treaty

By Joel Leyden
Israel News Agency

Jerusalem --- April 1, 2009 ..... In a stunning move, which has caught global leaders by surprise, Iran and Israel signed a peace treaty today in Jerusalem. Under the cover of darkness, Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad arrived at Israel's Ben-Gurion Airport just after midnight and was greeted by Israeli President Shimon Peres. The two then drove to the Prime Minister's office in Jerusalem where in his last act as Prime Minister Ehud Olmert signed several copies of the peace treaty. US President Obama had secretly flown into Jerusalem to serve as a witness to the historic, early morning ceremony.

"Iran and Israel share many common interests and values," said a smiling Peres. "We both produce the best humus in the world and our recipes for shwarma and kabab are second to none. The only people who gain from Iran and Israel being at conflict are the arms manufacturers. The signing of this peace treaty truly represents real security and stability for all peoples in the Middle East."

Ahmadinejad was then taken by Olmert and Peres to the Israeli Holocaust Memorial Yad Veshem for a customary tour which is afforded to all heads of State who visit Israel for the first time.

The Iranian-Israeli Peace Treaty calls for the immediate recognition of both states by one another with the immediate exchange of ambassadors, commercial and cultural attaches. Iran has agreed to open it's nuclear sites for inspection to US, UN, EU and Israeli teams. In the treaty Iran explicitly recognizes that World War Two did happen and that Adolph Hitler and his Nazi party were responsible for the genocide of over 11 million civilians, including 6 million Jews. Iran also states in the treaty that all suicide belts, stonings and car bombs were to be immediately banned. Iran also agreed to recognize women as being equal to men with regards to human rights.

Iran, which recently launched a spy satellite, is said to have seen beautiful women on Israel's beaches. Ahmadinejad told Peres that he has come to realize that it was far better to enjoy life then to commit suicide in acts of terror in order to embrace imaginary virgins in heaven. Iran was said to be close to having developed and deployed a nuclear weapon for which Israel and the Western world were prepared to destroy in a pre-empted attack on the Islamic Republic.

Hamas and Hezbollah sent their TV cartoon character - Mickey Mouse - to represent their members at the signing ceremony.

The above satirical story is a celebration of April's Fools day.
But wouldn't this headline be a beautiful thing to see!

Best wishes for a happy, fun and peaceful April Fools day from the staff of the Israel News Agency.

 

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