And Gaza - Fighting Terrorism With Toilet Paper
Israel News Agency
Jerusalem, Israel ---- October 28, 2007 ..... Israel has decided
to defend herself against continued, unprovoked Hamas terror
Qassam missile attacks by reducing the amount of electricity
provided to Gaza by Israel. As Hamas, which has sworn for the
total destruction of Israel, has now taken over the Gaza strip
and given that Gaza has now been categorized as a "hostile
entity" by Israel, Israel is under no obligation to provide
any electricity whatsoever.
Alon, the Israeli energy company that sells fuel to Gaza, confirmed
it had received instructions from the Israel Defense Ministry
to reduce shipments. Israel Defense Minister Ehud Barak approved
the plan to begin cutting fuel supplies and electricity to Gaza.
many other scenarios could follow.
we really wanted to hit them below the belt we could stop all
supply of toilet paper," said one Israel security analyst.
"The Palestinians are now stockpiling much of their fuel
and buying electric generators. And fuel for critical institutions
such as hospitals will continue to flow but Hamas will not have
electricity to create additional home made Qassam rockets and
explosives. And we are now considering an embargo on toilet
Fatah Association for Rights to Toilet Paper (FART) stated that
this would be a serious escalation of the conflict, but embraced
the move as they are now at odds against Hamas.
Canadian Relief Association for Palestine (CRAP) stated that
they would join the Palestinian Campaign for the Academic and
Cultural Boycott of Israel and the British UCU, the university
lecturers union, in boycotting toilet paper made in Israel.
The Scandinavian Humanitarian Institute for Toilet Paper (SHIT)
has already petitioned the United Nations.
President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad stated this afternoon that he
will fire four thousand missiles at Israel if Israel follows
through on its promise to curtail toilet paper. "Israel
will be wiped off the map, but Gaza will be wiped."
Commissioner for External Relations Benita Ferrero-Waldner said
the move to cut electricty and toilet paper was a form of "collective
at the end of her one day visit to Israel she said that such
actions only served to fuel extremism and threatened the success
of next month's international meeting between Israelis and Palestinians
strongly condemned the Hamas rocket attacks, but at the same
time she urged Israel to show restraint at this critical juncture.
"We are very concerned about the implication of cutting
fuel deliveries. We think a
deteriorating situation in the Strip would only aggravate the
consequences for the local population," Ferrero-Waldner
said. "We are clearly not in favor of collective punishment,"
actions, she said, "would play into the hands of the more
radical people who are trying to derail the ongoing negotiations
between the parties."
a heated meeting with Ferrero-Waldner in Jerusalem Israel President
Shimon Peres chided her for focusing so heavily on the suffering
of the Palestinians without also talking with him about the
harm caused to the children of Sderot.
he told her, had no intention of relinquishing its right to
defend its citizens.
Europe has to understand that sanctions, including the use of
toilet paper against Hamas in Gaza are a direct result of their
attacks against Israel, Peres told her.
in the toilet paper industry see a "paper trail" starting
to take shape as Iran supplies toilet paper to Syria which is
then transported to Hezbollah in Lebanon which is then transferred
to Islamic agents in Jordan and then shipped to Egypt. From
there thousands of red and green rolls of toilet paper could
then be tossed over the Israel security fence or smuggled from
Egypt into Gaza through tunnels.
Washington, a spokesperson for President Bush stated: "This
is a situation which the Palestinians created for themselves.
They should resolve themselves to sit down behind closed doors
and discuss peace and toilet paper."
Moscow, Putin stated that he would not tolerate such a crime
against humanity and warned that he would place his military
on alert if the situation worsened. The US could respond by
moving its Sixth Fleet off the Gaza coast.
say that this could create a "toilet paper economy"
for Hamas. "Where many nations base their currency on gold
and silver, Hamas would have to resort to stockpiling thousands
of rolls of toilet paper," said a financial analyst. "In
order to prevent riots from breaking out and destabilizing the
Hamas government in Gaza any further, Hamas might be forced
to use Jewish toilet paper."
spokesperson for GreenPeace called the Israel action a positive
one. "Imagine all of the forests which would be saved by
such environmental concern. Birds, rabbits, squirrels and deer
would not lose their natural homes."
spokesperson from the newly formed Jewish Interception of Holy
Dirt (JIHAD) responded that such action would be irresponsible.
"We will replace the logo of the soft cuddly dog on much
of toilet paper with the logo of Qassams and Katushas,"
reporter from the Al
Jazeera Internet news Web site perhaps sized up the situation
"The Israelis can take away the fuel, the Palestinians
have reserves that can last for months. And brave Hamas soldiers
chanting that 'Allah will provide' can again start to use corn
cobs, palm leaves, coconut shells, and water and their left
hands, but their wives would never accept such a situation.
They would make their lives far more miserable than any Israeli
military action. It will be the women of Gaza who will finally
take on Hamas.
For them there is no compromise on toilet paper."
runs out of toilet paper
report for retailers on green toilet paper
used as toilet paper by Palestinian terrorists?