Israel Father Rights Leaders Meet - Plan Demonstrations For Joint Custody


Over 20 directors of father and children rights groups in Israel met at a summit to discuss
coordinating both public and legal action against unfair child custody laws and gender discrimination.

By Joel Leyden
Israel News Agency


Tel Aviv ----- March 5, 2008 ....... The leaders of several fathers and children rights groups in Israel met this week in a historic summit of solidarity. Over 20 executive directors of father's, family and children rights groups met in Petach Tikva, Israel last Sunday evening to coordinate a nationwide campaign to reverse making divorced dads into visitors.

Among the many creative ideas brought forth were mass demonstrations to create public awareness regarding the suffering of children of divorce and the use of gender bias discrimination by Israel family courts and child welfare departments in cities from Tel Aviv, Jerusalem and Hafia to Ra'anana, Hadera and Rehovot.

The first nationwide demonstration will be taking place in north Tel Aviv on March 6. Divorced fathers and single dads from across Israel will be protesting for reforms in child custody, court decisions, child protection, child education, police action and the removal of gender bias discrimination from child welfare divisions. The father's right protest is set to begin at 16:30, in front of the North Tel Aviv "Merhav HaYarkon" Police Station, which is located at 10 Raul Wallenberg St, in Ramat HaKhayal neighborhood in Tel Aviv.

The newly created coalition of fathers rights groups, which includes Fathers 4 Justice Israel, urges all their members and supporters to attend the demonstration against child custody injustice and related issues in Israel.

"TV news cameras will be there at 1630. Whoever comes late will not be counted by the media," organizers stated in a news release. "We need to turnout in mass to protest in the name of the large number of families and fathers in our hard, unjust custody situations. We are demanding reform of the wrongful child custody family court welfare system.

Demonstrators can bring their own relevant protest signs or banners, which address either a general issue or an individual personal story. An effective protest sign conveys a concise and strong message. There will also be group signs and banners. The organizers are also preparing street drama props, possibly including symbolic links of chains.

Expected banners may include such as: "Misandric feminist police", "I am enslaved to pay unfair mezonot", "Take back the day!", "Stop false accusations of spouse and child abuse (which are not examined by summarily adopted by some family court judges), "Fathers are not the enemy", "Children need fathers, not visitors" and "Stop the tears".

 
Amanda walks into a home where a mommy, daddy and their children live together. She is surprised that they are all living together in a normal, healthy environment. Amanda says that she is "very sad" that she does not see her daddy as often as mommy. As soon as Amanda started to ask: "why do they all live together", Barri Goldsmith, a professional photographer in Israel grabbed his video camera and started to record what you see above.
Do family court judges hear Amanda? Does Revacha (child welfare) hear Amanda? Does Ra'anana Mayor Nachum Hofree hear Amanda and the thousands of other sad children who are taken away from their dads and turned into "visitors"? This video tape was produced by Barivision™, without any coaching to the child.


At first the fathers and children fair custody organizers announced that they planned street drama including members walking shirtless. However, this publicity balloon was disclaimed in latest messages from the organizing coalition of fathers rights groups.

"This demonstration is expected to build recent publicity in local Internet media and national tv, including interviews with two fathers the abuse they suffered by the ex-wife, the child welfare, the police and family courts. An interview of a father whose children were abducted from him is soon to be broadcast," said one of the organizers.

This is an English translation is based on the announcement in the child custody reform site http://www.yeladeinu.info/component/option,com_contact/task,view/contact_id,1/Itemid,50/ Also based on message received, dated Wed, Mar 5, at 3:58, from Niv Amit among demonstration organizers who are listed below.

Contact details were handed out including: Niv Amit, Israel Fathers Injured by Judge Rivka Mekayes, 0522-728110, 0524-832826, Dror Tzairi, 0546-206644 and Gil Ronen, (Familistim), 052-5227714.

Recently, divorced fathers came from Tel Aviv, Hafia and Jerusalem to protest in Kfar Sava and Ra'anana, Israel. Over 40 single dads were targeting Israel family court judges whose decisions on child custody appear to have been influenced by gender bias discrimination.

"We are coordinating peaceful, non-violent protests directly against family court judges, child welfare departments in Ra'anana and Kfar Sava and the mayors of these Israel towns who continue to ignore the plight of families at risk," said Niv Amit, the founder and director of Fathers Injured by Family Court Judge Mekayes. "Mekayes behavior and biased decisions against men is symptomatic of a sick, perverted and archaic justice and child welfare system in Israel which is in critical need of reform."

Amit's group was joined by members of Fathers 4 Justice Israel, another human rights group whose mission is to provide equal access and shared parenting to the children of divorce.

Kobi, a divorced dad stated that he has served Israel as both a combat soldier in the Israel Defense Forces and as a police officer for 12 years. "In Israel we are allowed to carry a M-16 but not our own children," he said.

Blatant discrimination and the forced separation of father from child stems from an outdated law passed by the Israel Knesset in 1962.
The Family Custodian Act of 1962 clearly states that all children under the age of six will automatically have custody under their mother, unless the mother is violent, drug abuser or negligent. But the cultural milieu by governmental agencies in Israel transcends the age of six.

Joint custody in Israel is rare. Most couples who divorce in Israel find it difficult to decide on anything together. Without the cooperation of both parents in Israel, their is no joint custody or shared parenting. Israel family courts will only accept joint custody arrangements when both sides agree. The father is cast away by the mother, the justice and child welfare systems in Israel as a second class citizen. The dad turns into a "cash machine" paying child support every month while being denied equal access to their children. As a result, children become alienated from their fathers suffering from Parental Child Alienation Syndrome, crying from the immediate and long term adverse behavioral effects of divorce and separation for years to come.

The Israel News Agency contacted Israel family court judge Mekayes who refused comment. The INA also requested comment from Ra'anana Mayor Nachum Hofree. Hofree's public relations department responded: "The Ra'anana division of social services gives the best, most professional response in cases of divorce, taking into account the child's best interest." When asked how Hofree is addressing gender bias discrimination in Ra'anana social services and after having providing documented examples where divorced women with children are assigned social workers and the fathers are not, the PR department simply stated: "that is our answer."

Family court judges in Kfar Sava rely upon the opinion of Ra'anana social services as to how much time fathers may spend with their children. If fathers are being denied the right of meeting and interacting with social workers in Ra'anana, then how can the Kfar Sava family court or any family court make an informative, responsible and wise decision?

In a study performed by the American Psychological Association (APA), it was revealed that children from divorced families who either live with both parents at different times or spend certain amounts of time with each parent are better adjusted in most cases than children who live and interact with just one parent, according to new research on custody arrangements and children's adjustment.

Psychologist Robert Bauserman, Ph.D., of AIDS Administration/Department of Health and Mental Hygiene in Baltimore, Maryland conducted a meta-analysis of 33 studies between 1982 to 1999 that examined 1,846 sole-custody and 814 joint-custody children. The studies compared child adjustment in joint physical or joint legal custody with sole-custody settings and 251 intact families. Joint custody was defined as either physical custody - where a child spends equal or substantial amounts of time with both parents or shared legal custody - where a child lives with primarily one parent but both parents are involved in all aspects of the child's life.

Children in joint custody arrangements had less behavior and emotional problems, had higher self-esteem, better family relations and school performance than children in sole custody arrangements. And these children were as well-adjusted as intact family children on the same measures, said Bauserman, "probably because joint custody provides the child with an opportunity to have ongoing contact with both parents."

According to the US Centers for Disease Control and the National Fathers' Resource Center, eighty-six percent of men have at least one child during their lifetimes. Using the 50 percent divorce rate figure, and knowing that fathers lose custody of their children about 80% of the time, it can be calculated that about 34% of American, English and Israel men will experience the loss of child custody sometime during their lives.

It is well-known that noncustodial fathers often experience high levels of psychological distress. Social scientists have made observations such as the following. Wallerstein noted that post divorce visits with children "can lead to depression and sorrow in men who love their children". Ross observed that many divorced fathers are "overwhelmed by feelings of failure and self-hatred," and as a result are "disengaging from a family that is no longer really theirs".

Umberson and Williams highlighted the sense of failure that these fathers experience. As a result, these men "exhibit substantially higher rates of psychological distress and alcohol consumption than do married men." Blankenhorn described non-custodial fathers in this way: "These men are very angry. Indeed, their white-hot sense of injustice can sometimes produce in them the phenomenon of pressured speech, in which emotional intensity derails normal conversational rhythms."

According to Los Angeles divorce consultant Jayne Major: "Divorced men are often devastated by the loss of their children. It's a little known fact that in the United States men initiate only a small number of the divorces involving children. Most of the men I deal with never saw their divorces coming, and they are often treated very unfairly by the family courts."

According to Sociology Professor Augustine Kposow of the University of California at Riverside, "The link between men and their children is often severed because the woman is usually awarded custody. A man may not get to see his children , even with visitation rights. As far as the man is concerned, he has lost his marriage and lost his children and that can lead to depression and suicide."

Fathers' rights groups contend court bias plays a direct role. One divorced father committed suicide on the steps of San Diego's courthouse, another set his car afire outside Alaska's child-support office. Fathers' rights groups, joined by a few academic experts, see a common denominator in these recent bursts of rage, and ask whether America's family court system could be partly at fault by deepening the despair of many divorced men.

"None of these guys are poster children," said Lowell Jaks, president of the Alliance for Non-Custodial Parents Rights. "But when you cause this much pain to so many men, there are going to be repercussions - a certain percentage are going to crack."

Findings largely support the argument that family structure influence child development through its impact on family processes. In other words, children of divorce are at risk for adjustment problems because their parents are less likely to engage in competent, consistent parenting and are more likely to engage in conflict exchanges than parents who are married to each other. Divorce, with its emotional turmoil, time demands and often financial stress increases the custodial mother's own chances of becoming depressed, which in turn tends to disrupt the quality of her parenting, Simons explains. This, in turn, increases the child's risk for adjustment problems.

Compared to fathers in intact families, the divorced, non-residential dads were less likely to help their children solve problems, discuss standards of conduct or enforce discipline, increasing the probability that boys would display conduct problems. "It is essential, especially for sons, that fathers continue to function as a parent," Simons emphasizes. "Simply showing the kids a good time and being a pal doesn't make any difference in terms of developmental outcomes for kids."

But the worst problem that many divorced dads face is being separated from their children and being termed "visitors" by a narcissistic mother who uses an archaic gender biased Israel custody law from 1962, which states that the child automatically goes to the mother with full custody till the age of six.
Many times child welfare wants to assist the father but must wait for the Israel court to have child welfare request more or equal time with the father.

"When couples start talking divorce - they need mediators, not attorneys," says Drora Burnstein, a child psychologist in Tel Aviv. "The attorneys live off of their conflict. The first measure they suggest is to stop all communication, as they believe that communication can be used against the other party in a legal case. These attorneys create what is known as the 'deathblow' for the child to have any sense of present or future family stability."

"Studies show that children whose whose divorcing parents have resolved their disagreements through amicable mediation will have a faster and healthier recovery from the trauma of divorce," Sara Silber, a child psychologist from Ra'anana, Israel told the INA. "I have worked with children of divorce whose parents are fighting each other in court, one can see the suffering and the pain on their faces. It makes me feel very sad, it's heartbreaking, frustrating when I can't reach a parent who is resisting lowering the conflict."

Naftali Shilo, an attorney who has practiced family law in Israel for over 15 years, told the INA:
"The parents should never use the child in their war against each other. The child, an innocent victim, should be left out of any and all conflict. Instead of running to the family court and filing various harassing legal motions, I suggest that the disputing couple first go to a social worker, child psychologist or divorce mediator. To stop wasting time and money, parents need to resolve all issues outside of court."

Shilo adds: "Even if you do not tell the children what is going on they will still know what's happening, they will still suffer from the conflict. Use attorneys to create agreements on shared parenting not to increase tensions which only hurt the child in the present and scars them for life."

 

Related sites:
A Fair Role for Fathers - The Boston Globe
The Father's Crusade - The New York Times
American Psychological Association (APA)

 



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