By Dr. Batya L. Ludman

Two friends are talking to each other. "I have had it and can't take much more" says one and asks her friend if she heard the latest, as she seemed so calm and happy.
"Oh yes," replies the other as she comments that she heard the news much earlier, before she went off to get her my shopping done.
What determines how people respond and how they cope as they attempt to deal with increased terrorism? It feels a bit like cancer, says one-like being in remission but always waiting to hear that the cancer has returned.
Does one live one's life in between attacks and live for the present or does one become crippled by constant fear?
We Israelis are a very tough bunch. Those of us from North America have had little exposure to this roller coaster ride of terrorism before making aliyah and find themselves intermittently coping well and falling apart. One moment they carry a gun but the next they are fearful.

Back when I was an undergraduate student in psychology, I learned that the harshest punishment one could give was one delivered intermittently. You never knew when it would happen but you knew sooner or later you would be punished. It was simply a matter of time. As such you always remained hyper-vigilant. You relaxed only to a point. Animals developed all kinds of symptoms of stress that looked worse than those who were constantly punished. They at least knew what was going to happen and when. Being able to predict helped them in some way to cope. Not knowing when something was going to happen caused all sorts of superstitious behavior. At one time we used to think that terror attacks happened only on Thursday afternoons, Saturday nights and a few other busy times. Now who knows?

As Israel once again began to count up its dead and wounded after a string of suicide bombings, I was reminded of my old studies. Only this time, the casualties were people and not experimental rats. Here in Israel we suffer the worst of both worlds. There is a constant threat of terrorist attacks and persistent attempts. It is only through the grace of G-d and the superb work of Israel's security and intelligence services that so many attacks are thwarted. And we are lulled into a sense of calm - for a while. Against this backdrop is the fear that we are no longer in remission - and our lives become punctuated by viewing the carnage of a successful attack.
Sometimes, we are so numb that unless the numbers are great we barely notice. Sometimes, we join those casualties that are just "lightly injured '" and only have to deal with the ramifications when we sit back for a moment and notice our own emotional scarring. Hanging over the head of every Israeli is the constant threat of a terrorist attack. This is made far more frightening when we acknowledge that these attacks can happen anywhere, at any time and to any one - pubs, movie theatres, malls, a cafe or on the bus.

We are reminded of these threats only intermittently when they are successful like today. We forget that during this 6 week supposed "lull" that a car bombing was thwarted that had it gone off contained more ammunition than the one that devastated Oklahoma City a decade ago. Add to this, still further are the rumblings of Iraq, talk of an insufficient number of gas masks, the potential need for smallpox vaccinations, and our need to clean out our shelters and "get ready" -- enough to put anyone into panic mode. This coupled with the already high unemployment and the fear that someday our taps will run dry leaves us with the stress of what to worry about first. Most of us try and forget what is going on "in between" "events" in an endeavor to lead a "normal" life, but most question what that really entails. How do we bear it?

Many of us have learned to joke, see ourselves a bit less serious, take more risks, and even get very involved in the day-to-day life of terror victims, soldiers and our families. We take a vacation when we have no money and we turn off the news after watching the same horrific scene repeatedly, and go shopping. We go on with life. We don't let terrorism paralyze us. We remain cautious. We play our own private prediction games in an attempt to get some control over our own lives and feel safe. We are not rushing to leave our beloved country but rather search repeatedly for ways to make it work.
If, when we close our eyes at night, the scenes just don't go away, we get help.
We will get through this - each and every one of us - and we will be strong.

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Dr. Batya L. Ludman is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Ra'anana. She works with children of all ages and their families, as well as with adults and couples, in short term solution focused psychotherapy. She specializes in bereavement and loss, grief, stress, trauma, anxiety, and depression. She has conducted workshops on bereavement, stress management and critical incident stress and has published extensively in both the professional and lay literature. See her website at http://go.to/drbatyaludman