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For
The New Year - Advice On Father's, Children's Rights, Custody,
False Child Abuse Allegations
By
Joel Leyden Jerusalem, Israel ---- January 1, 2011 ...... First off, I must make it vividly clear that I am not discussing my own legal case. For my custody case is under a "gag order". This means that the family courts in Israel can place a tight cloth around my mouth and make sure that I don't articulate or illustrate any wrongs by the family court or Ra'anana, Israel Child Welfare to millions of people. They say it is to protect to the child. Wrong. The child desperately needs the support and understanding of the community whether it be in Israel, London, New York or Japan. And if the family court or child welfare are acting in any manner which is negligent - the community which pays taxes and salaries of the family court and child welfare has every right to stand up and protest on behalf of our children. But I, as the Director of Fathers 4 Justice Israel will be a good boy and will discuss thousands of other cases where fathers have been separated from their children merely on a false charge of child abuse. In
Israel, all it takes is an extremely evil mother or father who
creates a false charge of child abuse and within minutes - that
loving, caring mom or dad would lose all parenting rights. Why
would a parent act as such? Why would the family court and child
welfare strip away all rights of that parent without an investigation?
Very good questions. Both the legal and mental health communities are now having second looks at many of these cases, acknowledging that we've convicted innocent people, destroyed families and ruined childhoods. A second look at the processes that led to these miscarriages of justice is essential, because unless we learn from our mistakes, we will continue to repeat them. Being at a New Year's Party last night in New York, all my thoughts were on my children. How much I miss them and all I could do or not do to be with them next year at a New Year's party. For many moms, dads and their children 2010 was a disaster. For 2011 the outlook just might become a bit better if parents behaved more like adults than like 5-year-olds. At least this was the advice of one family court attorney from New Haven, Connecticut, Patrick Dunn. Dunn and I discussed the entire battle field. He was more focused on my role as a combat soldier and spokesperson in the Israel Defense Forces. Israel's struggle against Islamic Jihad whose aim is to destroy all democracies and how Israel was at the forefront in winning this battle. I had to explain to Patrick, that his role in protecting children from real physical and emotional child abuse did not compare to my walking over the twisted and mangled bodies of terror victims, fire fights I experienced in the IDF and being at Ground Zero in New York shortly after 9/11 took place. For me children have their own 9/11 on almost a daily basis. And I wanted to know from him his advice on how to win this battle. "Joel, the biggest problem that children suffer from is having two parents who behave like children," said Dunn. The parents need to place the child's best interest first - not their emotional feeling and or principles. Never use the children as a weapon to hurt the other parent." Dunn
said one of most cruel and tragic weapons that a few mothers use
in divorce or in child custody is to wrongly accuse the father
of child abuse. He said that in the US, the Administration for
Children‘s Services usually act very quickly when reports
of child abuse come to their attention. Dunn said that the first
thing that they do is to investigate the charges. Unlike Israel,
usually US psychologists and social workers with a background
in forensics go out and interview the child, the mother and the
father. Quickly, in the same manner that an ambulance is dispatched
they will seek out the truth. If real abuse is apparent, the child
would be taken away from the abusive parent. So what does a father do if he is wrongly charged with child abuse and has had his children taken from him? Dunn states, do not act out of emotion. The other side is just waiting to ambush you as you go off the wall in pain and then they are able to describe the father as crazy or mentally imbalanced. He said that there could be no greater suffering than to have a child taken away from a parent, especially a parent who has done no wrong and truly loves and connects with that child in the role he was meant to play. That dad's are not just banks, but offer a very real and potent role model to the child as to what is wrong and right for the child's emotional growth. Dunn advised that if child abuse truly took place, then seek the police report - if there is a police report. Then go to the hospital to secure the medical records that would either illustrate that child abuse did take place. Is there physical evidence or psychological trauma that was documented? Lastly, seek out a forensic psychologist. Have them interview you and provide the results to the court. If there was any abuse, a forensic psychologist is trained to pick it up and report it. Forensic psychology is recognized as a medical service by family courts in the US. What if there is a total lack of evidence pointing to child abuse? The parent will immediately regain their parenting rights. Does it end there? This is the question. Now that the father has been cleared of all false child abuse allegations, does he now charge the mother with perjury and libel? Does he allow himself and the child to remain victims of emotional abuse? The
only answer to this says Dunn, is if the father believes that
there will be more false charges coming at him. In this case,
you must go on the offensive and file charges of perjury based
on the medical reports of the forensic psychologists. But if there
is any chance that the other parent will behave like a responsible
adult - just swallow hard and let it go. The
welfare of the child comes first. And extracting conflict out
of that child's life is the most important thing that a good parent
must do. Is there any better agenda for the New Year of 2011 than to make our children smile?
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