For
The New Year - Advice On Father's, Children's Rights, Custody,
False Child Abuse Allegations
By
Joel Leyden
Israel News Agency
Jerusalem,
Israel ---- January 1, 2011 ...... First off, I must make it vividly
clear that I am not discussing my own legal case. For my custody
case is under a "gag order". This means that the family
courts in Israel can place a tight cloth around my mouth and make
sure that I don't articulate or illustrate any wrongs by the family
court or Ra'anana, Israel Child Welfare to millions of people.
They say it is to protect to the child.
Wrong. The child desperately needs the support and understanding
of the community whether it be in Israel, London, New York or
Japan. And if the family court or child welfare are acting in
any manner which is negligent - the community which pays taxes
and salaries of the family court and child welfare has every right
to stand up and protest on behalf of our children. But I, as the
Director of Fathers
4 Justice Israel will be a good boy and will discuss thousands
of other cases where fathers have been separated from their children
merely on a false charge of child abuse.
In
Israel, all it takes is an extremely evil mother or father who
creates a false charge of child abuse and within minutes - that
loving, caring mom or dad would lose all parenting rights. Why
would a parent act as such? Why would the family court and child
welfare strip away all rights of that parent without an investigation?
Very good questions.
Our basic instincts
are to protect and defend defenseless children. It is a measure
of a civilized society. It is equally instinctive to presume guilt.
That tendency is even stronger when the accused must prove a negative
- that what he or she is accused of didn't happen. These false
allegations have led to countless criminal convictions: parents,
day care providers, teachers, neighbors - even when the charges
cannot be supported by objective scientific evidence, or when
there was no physical evidence at all to support the claims.
Both the legal
and mental health communities are now
having second looks at many of these cases, acknowledging
that we've convicted innocent people, destroyed families and ruined
childhoods. A second look at the processes that led to these miscarriages
of justice is essential, because unless we learn from our mistakes,
we will continue to repeat them.
Being
at a New Year's Party last night in New York, all my thoughts
were on my children. How much I miss them and all I could do or
not do to be with them next year at a New Year's party. For many
moms, dads and their children 2010 was a disaster. For 2011 the
outlook just might become a bit better if parents behaved more
like adults than like 5-year-olds.
At
least this was the advice of one family court attorney from New
Haven, Connecticut, Patrick Dunn.
Dunn
and I discussed the entire battle field. He was more focused on
my role as a combat soldier and spokesperson in the Israel Defense
Forces. Israel's struggle against Islamic Jihad whose aim is to
destroy all democracies and how Israel was at the forefront in
winning this battle.
I
had to explain to Patrick, that his role in protecting children
from real physical and emotional child abuse did not compare to
my walking over the twisted and mangled bodies of terror victims,
fire fights I experienced in the IDF and being at Ground Zero
in New York shortly after 9/11 took place.
For
me children have their own 9/11 on almost a daily basis. And I
wanted to know from him his advice on how to win this battle.
"Joel,
the biggest problem that children suffer from is having two parents
who behave like children," said Dunn. The parents need to
place the child's best interest first - not their emotional feeling
and or principles. Never use the children as a weapon to hurt
the other parent."
Dunn
said one of most cruel and tragic weapons that a few mothers use
in divorce or in child custody is to wrongly accuse the father
of child abuse. He said that in the US, the Administration for
Childrens Services usually act very quickly when reports
of child abuse come to their attention. Dunn said that the first
thing that they do is to investigate the charges. Unlike Israel,
usually US psychologists and social workers with a background
in forensics go out and interview the child, the mother and the
father. Quickly, in the same manner that an ambulance is dispatched
they will seek out the truth. If real abuse is apparent, the child
would be taken away from the abusive parent.
If the charges were false, then those allegations would then become
real legal grounds for emotional child abuse, perjury, criminal
harassment and libel.
So
what does a father do if he is wrongly charged with child abuse
and has had his children taken from him?
Dunn
states, do not act out of emotion. The other side is just waiting
to ambush you as you go off the wall in pain and then they are
able to describe the father as crazy or mentally imbalanced. He
said that there could be no greater suffering than to have a child
taken away from a parent, especially a parent who has done no
wrong and truly loves and connects with that child in the role
he was meant to play. That dad's are not just banks, but offer
a very real and potent role model to the child as to what is wrong
and right for the child's emotional growth.
Dunn
advised that if child abuse truly took place, then seek the police
report - if there is a police report. Then go to the hospital
to secure the medical records that would either illustrate that
child abuse did take place. Is there physical evidence or psychological
trauma that was documented?
Lastly,
seek out a forensic psychologist. Have them interview you and
provide the results to the court. If there was any abuse, a forensic
psychologist is trained to pick it up and report it. Forensic
psychology is recognized as a medical service by family courts
in the US.
What
if there is a total lack of evidence pointing to child abuse?
The
parent will immediately regain their parenting rights.
Does
it end there?
This
is the question.
Now
that the father has been cleared of all false child abuse allegations,
does he now charge the mother with perjury and libel?
Does
he allow himself and the child to remain victims of emotional
abuse?
The
only answer to this says Dunn, is if the father believes that
there will be more false charges coming at him. In this case,
you must go on the offensive and file charges of perjury based
on the medical reports of the forensic psychologists. But if there
is any chance that the other parent will behave like a responsible
adult - just swallow hard and let it go.
What Dunn did not say and Fathers 4 Justice recommends is to report
the law firm representing and litigating the false charges to
the local Bar association. Bar associations have ethic committees
and they will not tolerate nor allow any law firm to abuse the
law let alone to abuse a child.
The
welfare of the child comes first. And extracting conflict out
of that child's life is the most important thing that a good parent
must do.
If false charges of child abuse were made once, Dunn says that
they could be made a second time. So always pickup your child
with a witness or in a public place. Minimize your contact with
the aggressive parent and focus solely on making your child smile.
Is
there any better agenda for the New Year of 2011 than to make
our children smile?
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